Thursday, August 2, 2007
Beginning a Relationship
Technically this relationship advice should have been written before my other one, but sometimes the words just have to flow when they do. Starting a relationship is difficult for many men, and for women as well. Worries about is she the one, will this work, what will my friends/parents think, will we get married? Many questions go through a mans head, and sometimes it shows in how we treat that new Ms. Right. As hard as it is, don't focus or dwell on this stuff.
Sometimes when you meet someone, you get that feeling that maybe she isn't our type. If that is the case, be honest with her. Women don't mind being told there is no spark, they may be hurt but in the long run they will respect you for being honest and upfront with them, instead of dragging on something, or worse, seeing somebody else at the same time. On the flip side, sometimes you will feel something, they won't and they let you know. Take it like a man, say thank you for your honesty and move on. Don't stalk them or call them all the time and try and change their mind.
A lot of time people meet online first. Be it through matchmaker, e-harmony, yahoo, or myspace, a lot of first impressions come from your online presence. When you meet, depending on how you portray yourself online, they will either be pleased, or disappointed. Be honest in your online presence. Its easy to pretend you are something or somebody you are not, but no relationship should be built from the ground up based on a lie.
Regardless of how or where you meet, when you experience that first magic date, and you both have a good night together, be sure and call her, text her, email her, IM her, or however you decide to communicate next. One of the nicer things you can do, is as soon as you drop her off, go home, log on, find a online card service( I use 123greetings.com) and send her a cute funny e-card. When she logs into her email, she will have something from you there waiting on her. Be sure and call her if you say you will. Don't make her wait for your call. Don't play hard to get or indifferent. If the date goes very well, nail down a second date within 5 days time, to show her you are interested. If she won't commit to a second date, she may need to think about it and discuss with her friends.
Above all else, be honest with her, and yourself. You may hurt her by being honest and telling her that you don't think it will work, but not as much as you will by leading her on, letting her become more attached, then breaking up when you find somebody else. We don't like to be lead on, neither do women. Always ask yourself how you would feel if somebody did it to you.
Relationships are tricky, and getting started in one is hard, especially with two different personalities that don't know or understand the other yet. Always be honest, always follow through on your commitments, and always be upfront.