It happens to all of us, we lose a special person in our life due to death. At times it can be almost unbearable. I just lost my grandfather this week and it hit me hard as we were very close.
By nature I am a person who plays it close to the vest. I don't show or share feelings or emotions, part of my guy genes I assume. Things like this tend to get to me pretty hard. In addition having to be strong for my mom and daughter, tends to make one have to wall up. I know from previous experience this is not good, the stress will kill you.
Instead of turning to alcohol or anything, I chose a different way to cope. I spent a lot of time thinking of how much better he is now, and that he is with his wife, and pappaw would never want anybody to grieve him much, he would want us to be happy that he wasn't suffering, and that he was with his wife now.
I took a walk in the woods, to enjoy some quiet and solitude first and foremost. The calming effects of nature are not to be ignored. I found me a quiet spot with a big tree and sat for a while, remembering the good times, and how happy he and mammaw were together. I also tossed a football with my daughter, and spent some time doing yardwork and house work. Things he would have approved of me doing.
We did give him a full military honors burial. He was a WWII vet, and I wanted to make sure that everybody remembered how he served his country in the most decisive war of the century. How he bravely stood against the nazis and sacrificed so much for this country. It was a healing process, because of how proud it made us all of him.
When grieving, I wont tell you to rely on friends or family, though if that works for you, by all means do so. It doesnt work for me, and many others though.
Take the time for yourself, come to terms with it, and live your life. People make so much of death, its not the final thing. The greatest tribute you can make for a loved one is to live your life, love it, and love your family.
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